


The Overlook

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-21
Updated: 2006-03-21
Packaged: 2019-02-02 14:37:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12728496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Epilogue to "Serpent's Lair". Jack and Daniel admit their true feelings for one another.





	The Overlook

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

Part 1

"SG-1, there's someone who'd like to see you."

Jack couldn't believe his eyes. The figure at the back of the gate room made its way through the Marines standing in front of him, placing a hand on a shoulder here and there to ask them to make way, eyes mostly on the floor. As the man neared the end of the ramp, where Jack, Sam and Teal'c were standing with General Hammond, Jack could literally not believe his eyes. If he'd had time, he would have pinched himself. It was Daniel Jackson! Back from the dead, apparently. 

He heard Carter exclaim, "Daniel!" Jack just smiled. * Daniel, you old son of a bitch. You did it again. Damn! I can't believe you're really here.*

Daniel didn't speak. He stood and looked at their team, his expression almost apologetic. * Sorry I worried you, guys. Didn't you know that somehow I'd come back to you?* It was Daniel, dressed in his green fatigues, his long hair smooth and polished, eyes all alight behind his glasses.

Jack took the two steps over to him and pulled him into his arms. He wrapped him up in a full body hug. He put his chin down on Daniel's shoulder, his hand cupping the back of Daniel's head. 

"Space monkey!" He enthused. When they drew back, they looked into each other's eyes, and Jack could feel his smile splitting his face in half. Jack squeezed Daniel's shoulders and patted him, running his hands down Daniel's arms. "Yeah!"

Daniel looked pleased to be welcomed back so enthusiastically. He smiled his biggest smile, showing just about every tooth in his head.

Carter came over and gave Daniel a big hug too. As everyone in the room gathered around Daniel to greet him, Jack stood back a little and looked on. He pushed his hands into his pockets and just stood watching Daniel. He couldn't seem to stop smiling. He didn't even try.

This was happiness. This was joy. Jack knew that he'd never felt like this before. Daniel had been dead. He'd left him for dead on Apophis's ship. And now here he was, restored to them again. It felt like a miracle.

Part 2

Jack never left anyone behind. Never. It was a firm policy of his, never to be violated. Daniel, lying in the corridor of Apophis's ship, mortally wounded by a staff blast, had urged him to leave him, and so he had. It had killed Jack to do that, but he had seen the reason. He had understood, really he had. The good of the many had to overwhelm the good of the one. Even if the "one" was his friend and teammate, Daniel. Jack's mind had reeled at what he had done, leaving Daniel. What had been his words to the rest of his team? "He's staying behind." 

Not long after, all their lives had been in danger. If it hadn't been for their rescue by one of NASA's space shuttles, he, Teal'c, Carter and Bra'tac would have been the dead ones. Jack had admired Earth's beauty from their place in outer space, and had even called the attention of it to the others. It had indeed looked like a big, blue marble from that vantage point. Even as he had told the others that it hadn't been such a bad day after all, the thought foremost in his mind was that soon he'd be reunited with Daniel and Charlie. It really would all turn out okay.

After their rescue by the space shuttle, it had taken the team a couple of long days in Houston to get checked out and released. They were days of military debriefings and medical check ups. Everyone from the President to the joint chiefs wanted to talk to them. The doctors had poked and prodded and tested and shined lights in their eyes until they were sure that Bra'tac and SG-1, what remained of it, was whole.

Earth's communications had been temporarily affected by the blast of the two motherships's explosions. Carter theorized that it had something to do with the naquada fragments falling to earth from the blast. The team had not had any word from the SGC, except through circuitous routes. Word of Daniel's return through the gate had never reached the rest of his team. If they had only known that Daniel had gotten home safe, the rest of SG-1 would have been spared all the agony they were feeling.

Jack had been impatient with the routine during those long two days. He'd been anxious to return to the SGC and also dreading it. He'd known that when they finally got back, he would have had to really deal with Daniel being gone. In Houston, it had been easy to just forget for a few minutes, sometimes hours, at a time. Jack had known that back home, Daniel's loss would be more obvious and more keenly felt by all of them. Jack had been bored and keyed up at the same time, and also suffering the deepest bout of mourning he had experienced since Charlie's death.

During the daytime he had kept himself together pretty well. But at night, when his creeping guilt and thoughts of his lost friend came to him, he had examined his grief. He hadn't known what to do with any of the emotions he'd been feeling. He had been exhausted, and hadn't been able to sleep worth a damn. He'd felt useless in the daytime, and useless at night, too. He'd tried throwing things, in the privacy of his quarters. He had even knocked over a couple of chairs. Acting out like that had relieved his grief for a little while, but it had only left him feeling stupid and childish. 

In the end, he had reverted to his old habit of bottling everything up inside himself, refusing to deal with his grief, distancing himself from Sam and Teal'c, the only two in the world who could really understand. Useless. He'd felt totally useless.

And so Jack had known that Daniel was gone. Really truly gone. His best friend in the whole world was lost to him. He'd known in time he'd get over it at least enough to function, just like when Charlie had died. But still thoughts of Daniel haunted him. He couldn't forget the image of his bloody face, the way he looked when Jack had caressed his cheek, the only good-bye he had said to him.

His grief seemed all out of proportion to Jack until he started admitting what it really meant. A part of him had stood back and watched himself try to deal with Daniel's loss. 

*Jeez, O'Neill, yeah, he's gone. We all know the risk we take every day in this line of work. Why are you so surprised? You all knew it was a suicide mission from the get-go. And then you did what he asked. You left him there, just like he asked. He promised to watch your back. He died, as a soldier should, in battle, in defense of the innocent. Why can't you accept this? What the hell is the matter? You've lost friends in battle before.

*You know what the matter really is, don't you? You're in love with him, you know. You have loved him as a friend all this time. But now it's something else, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? And now he's gone, and you never knew. You never told him. You're turning into a damned head case, O'Neill. He's gone. Deal with it.*

It had been too much for Jack to grasp. He'd mourned for Daniel's loss, in the only ways he knew how. But the realization of what Daniel truly meant to him had been such a shock that he had found himself mourning for that also. In love with Daniel? Then he'd known he had a double loss to deal with. It had hurt, and it had confused the hell out of Jack. 

As his mind and heart did their best to grasp the events and emotions of the past days, Jack's emotions had reeled like a drunken sailor. Jack felt like he had been encapsulated in some kind of an insane roller coaster. It had almost made him physically ill. Sleeping and eating became things of the past.

And then, upon the team's return, there Daniel was, in the flesh. Restored to them. Restored to Jack. Smiling, whole, happy. A surprise, and what to Jack felt like a bona fide miracle.

In those moments, watching Daniel greet everyone in the gateroom, Jack knew. He was going to have to tell Daniel. He didn't care anymore what Daniel would think of him. He didn't care, at least much, that he was a Colonel in the United States Air Force. He knew he couldn't worry about any of that anymore. He was in love with Daniel Jackson, there was no doubt now. And Daniel had to know. Jack had to tell him. He wasn't going to let one of them die without the other knowing.

Part 3

That same night, Jack sat and looked around their table at the China Sea Restaurant in the Springs. Jack always thought the dining room looked like how he imagined a Chinese whore's bedroom would look. It was all red and gold and tasseled, decorated with dragons and Chinese characters. 

They were a happy, noisy bunch. Carter, Teal'c, and Fraiser had joined Daniel and Jack for dinner. The conversation had been easy, the laughter felt like good medicine. They gathered for dinner, to celebrate the fact that the earth was safe, for the time being, and so were they. They had thought Daniel was dead. Daniel had thought Jack, Sam and Teal'c were dead. And now here they all were. It was time to celebrate all three miracles.

After finding out what everyone's favorite dishes were, Daniel had ordered for them all in Mandarin. Everyone at the table stopped their own conversations to listen to him. He had been serious and focused, telling the Chinese waitress at some length how each dish should be prepared. When he was done, and she had walked away, he noticed everyone watching, and he blushed furiously. 

Finally he smiled and said, "What?" and blinked at them all. 

Jack opened his mouth to tease him and thought better of it. Finally he broke the silence around the table. "Wow, Daniel. How in hell do you do that, anyway?" Jack was proud of him. *Something you've never told him, O'Neill.*

Everyone laughed, including Daniel. Gradually the conversation around the table resumed, but Jack and Daniel exchanged a glance every once in a while. Daniel was wishing he had sat down next to Jack. It took everything in him not to go over to Sam or Teal'c, both of who were on either side of Jack, and ask one of them to switch seats with him. He chided himself for being silly, and tried to concentrate on what the others were talking about. Damn, he was distracted.

A few minutes later, as the waitress brought five huge covered dishes to the table, they all fell quiet again. She left the dishes and went away, and Jack lifted his glass of beer. 

"Here's to Daniel Jackson," he said in a low voice, looking at Daniel. Everyone lifted their glasses, filled with beer, wine, soda, water, whatever they were drinking,

"Here here," everyone said. They looked at Daniel while they took a sip and toasted him. Daniel smiled shyly and ducked his chin down. They had embarrassed him again, and also pleased him very much.

"Speech!" Jack said. All eyes turned to him. "Well...why not? This is an important occasion!" He looked at Daniel teasingly. 

Daniel smiled at him, thoroughly embarrassed this time. "Nah, no speech. I'm just so glad to be with you all again. You know, I thought I'd lost you, Jack, and you, Sam and Teal'c, for a while there, too. So we all scared each other this time. Thanks for being my friends," he said quietly. Then he looked at the food. He reached over and uncovered one of the steaming dishes. "Mmm," he said. "Let's eat. I'm starved!"

Everyone laughed and reached to uncover the bowls. They passed the food, heaped up their plates, and started to enjoy the meal and the company. 

Jack sat across the round table from Daniel. He ate mechanically, not really tasting the food, his mind almost totally focused on Daniel. Once in a while, he answered Carter, to his left, or Teal'c, to his right, as they tried to converse with him, but he couldn't focus on anything except Daniel. He watched Daniel's hands as he held his fork and knife. He watched his mouth as he ate and talked. He couldn't take his eyes off Daniel's hair, or his blue eyes radiant with happiness behind his glasses. How had Jack never known before? He even noticed his blue polo shirt. 

*Ah, Danny, you should always wear blue...when did I start to notice what color you had on?*

Jack was a changed man. The knowledge of it gave him great joy and also the greatest fear he'd ever known. What in the hell was he going to say to Daniel? All he knew was that he had a hunger inside him, in a place that Chinese food was not going to fill. It longed to be filled with Daniel. Jack was scared shitless, so unbearably excited by this new awareness, he felt a little sick. He felt like a lovesick eighth grader. He also felt like a very old, very wise man who finally knew what he wanted, knew what he needed, and knew he would have to ask for it if it was ever going to be his. 

Finally he gave it up. He put his fork down and left his plate half full. He knew he was staring, and he didn't care.

And then Daniel turned his attention to Jack, aware for the first time of Jack's constant scrutiny. He paused, fork half way to his own mouth, and returned Jack's gaze. Jack's eyes were intense, locked on his own. Daniel was only dimly aware of the clatter of dishes and cutlery and the chatter of his friends and those at other tables. The world as he knew it narrowed down to a thin, telescoped line between his eyes and Jack's. Time was suspended. How long they gazed at each other he didn't know, didn't care. Did he dare hope? Was that what he hoped it was in Jack's eyes?

Finally Jack smiled, just a little upturn of his lips at the corners. And then he winked at Daniel. A long, slow, lazy wink. He looked very pleased with himself, smug.

Daniel put his fork down and smiled back at him. Well, Jack was happy that he was home, that had been obvious ever since the hug and the space monkey thing back on base. Daniel was pretty happy too. Damned near euphoric. His family was back together in one piece, and for now, for tonight anyway, all was right with the world. But a wink? That was a new one. An exciting new one. Daniel could feel a tingle deep in his stomach. His mouth went dry. 

He was in love with Jack O'Neill. Had been since the very first time he'd laid eyes on him, back before the first Abydos mission. But Jack was as straight as they come, Air Force all the way, and Daniel had never dared to hope that it could ever be anything more between them. As Jack's eyes burned into his, Daniel felt laid bare, like Jack and the whole world could see right into his heart. *Yes, Jack, I want you. Now, always, forever, however it needs to be for you, that's what I want, please.*

At about the same time that Daniel thought he wouldn't be able to help getting up and going to Jack, Teal'c interrupted the moment.

Turning to Jack he said, "Do you not feel well, O'Neill? You are not eating this Oriental food. Does it not conform to your tastes?" 

Jack dragged his eyes over to Teal'c and then shrugged his shoulders, smiling broadly.

"No, Teal'c, old buddy, everything's fine. Just taking a breather. See?" He took up his fork, loaded it with food and shoveled it in his mouth, chewing enthusiastically so Teal'c could see. 

"Indeed," said Teal'c. With the lift of an eyebrow, he turned to look at Daniel Jackson. As Daniel noticed Teal'c knowing look, he hurriedly picked up his own fork and starting eating again. Teal'c was sure he could see a slow blush creeping up Daniel Jackson's neck, onto his cheeks. Another glance at O'Neill showed him that Jack was studiously cleaning his plate, eyes on his food.

Teal'c lowered his eyes to his own food, his active imagination turning ideas over in his mind. The events of the last three days had indeed been dramatic, to say the least. He himself was very deeply pleased at the return of Daniel Jackson. And O'Neill was Daniel's best friend. How much more so must they both be relieved and happy. And if it were more than that, then so be it. He had no problems with the things the Tau'ri obviously found so difficult to be or to talk about. Their mating rituals and social mores were a mystery to him. 

Teal'c caught Captain Carter's eyes across the table. She too had noticed Jack and Daniel's odd behavior. She gave Teal'c a little shrug and a small smile. She pointedly looked at Janet, who returned her look. Janet turned her head to Daniel, watching him concentrating on his food with every point of his IQ, and then turned to look at the colonel, who was very pale but helping himself to another serving of the General Tsao's Chicken. She turned back to Sam and quirked her eyebrows at her. 

Soon they were all eating and chatting again. Jack and Daniel both kept their eyes studiously off each other. It had felt like an odd evening, to say the least. But the two hearts at the opposite ends of the table beat a little faster. A connection had been made.

Part 4

"Night, Carter," Jack called out in the restaurant parking lot. God, he hadn't thought the woman would ever leave.

Fraiser had taken Teal'c with her back to base almost a half hour before. Not that Jack had checked his watch or anything. Much. Well, maybe he'd sneaked a look at it a couple of times. The three of them had stood and leaned on Jack's truck and talked about nothing for what felt like hours to Jack. All he had been able to think about was getting Daniel alone, starting the long trek to the talk he knew he had to have with him.

But finally she said good-bye to him and Daniel, and moved off to her car. 

Daniel was leaning one hip against Jack's big truck, his arms folded around his body. Jack pushed off from where he'd been leaning his butt on the same side and faced him. A moment of silence ensued. 

It was dark in the parking lot, lit with just a few badly placed streetlights. But Daniel could see Jack's dark eyes shining with interest. The hope Daniel had felt back at the table in the restaurant resurfaced. The dramatic events of the last days had changed Jack, changed his attitude about Daniel. Daniel could see that much in Jack's face.

Whenever he thought of the hug back in the gate room, about the space monkey thing, and Jack's warmth, Daniel's heart began to sing. He thought that maybe everything that had happened to them on Apophis's ship, all the fear and horror and despair, would all be worth it if it broke through the military walls that Jack had around his heart.

"What?" Daniel asked softly. A little smile played around the corners of his mouth. 

"I'm so sorry," Jack said. Daniel hadn't expected those words. Jack hadn't expected to say them.

Daniel was suddenly very serious. He was surprised, and a little worried. "For what, Jack?"

"Leaving you. I left you. You were hurt, and you needed me, and I left you. I know. I had to. But I shouldn't have. Please...forgive me." He couldn't seem to look Daniel in the face. A few moments of silence stretched out. Daniel wondered what he was supposed to say. 

"There's nothing to forgive, Jack. I told you to go. It was the only thing that made sense. I'm okay with it. We're all fine, and that's all that matters." He leaned towards Jack and gripped his shoulder for just a moment. Jack lifted his face to look into Daniel's eyes. He shrugged, not really buying it. But Jack knew there would be time to talk about this later.

"We need to talk, Daniel," Jack said. "I need to talk. God, I suck at this." He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. He couldn't meet Daniel's eyes again. He felt shy, like he'd never talked to Daniel before. It struck him that he never had. He had never really talked to Daniel while he was in love with him before. The feeling of being an eighth grader with a serious crush came rushing back to him.

Daniel just waited. He was finding it hard to breathe with Jack so close. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, make it easy for him by saying the words first. After all, he was the one who was supposed to be good with words. But somehow he knew it was important for Jack to be able to be the one who took control of the situation. 

"Dammit, Daniel," Jack groused. He halfway turned to the truck, and leaned his weight against it with an impatient thunk. Daniel was only a couple of feet away from him.

"What now?" Daniel asked. He looked at Jack with interest and encouragement, his eyebrows raised. 

Jack ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, messing it up with an impatient wave of his hand. He let his breath out between his lips with a sigh. 

"I just need to talk to you. But not here. Listen, can we go for a drive? I have a place I want to show you. We have the next three days off. Can we just take off? I mean, for a couple of days? Do you have to go home to like feed your fish or take out the trash or clean the fridge or anything? Can you just leave with me? Right now?"

"Now, Jack? Well...I suppose so. Where do you want to go?"

"Get your car, Daniel. I'll follow you home, and then you can hop in with me. I'll tell you on the way. It'll take us a few hours to get to. We'll stop for breakfast on the way. I know a great place."

Part 5

Jack followed Daniel back into town, to Daniel's loft building. He waited impatiently out at the curb while Daniel parked his car in his slot, got his jacket, and then walked quickly back to Jack's truck.

The second he was in his seat with his door closed, Jack pulled away from the curb and started down the street. It was almost like he was afraid Daniel would change his mind and try to go back home. All Jack could think about was getting Daniel away with him, with some time for talking and whatever else might happen.

*Oh, God*, he thought, *whatever else might happen*. Suddenly, his mouth was dry. He sneaked a look at Daniel in the lights from the street and the dashboard. Daniel was sitting with one leg folded over the opposite knee, looking very relaxed, gazing out the windshield, apparently without a care in the world.

*Oh, God*, Daniel thought. *Where are we going? What is Jack going to say, and how am I going to react? What does Jack want from me?* He sneaked a look at Jack. Jack had an easy hold on the steering wheel, lounging back in his seat like he didn't have a care in the world. 

"So!" Daniel said, too loudly. He cleared his throat. "Where are we going, anyway?"

Jack turned to him briefly and smiled. "Wyoming."

Daniel's mouth hung open in surprise. "Wyoming! We're going to be gone a couple of days? Wyoming isn't so far away."

"Where we're going is. About 200 miles. I'll show you. Why don't you put your head back and try to get some sleep? I don't mind driving; we'll drive straight through to Casper, and stop for breakfast there in a truck stop I know. I'll explain then, okay?"

"You are crazy, you know that, huh?" Daniel said with a smile. He reached over and shook Jack's right arm gently. Jack put his left hand on Daniel's where it rested on his arm, holding it in place, loving Daniel's simple touch. He turned his head and smiled back.

"Yeah, no secret there. Takes one to know one, my friend." He patted Daniel's hand.

"Go to sleep, huh?" he said softly to Daniel. "This will be a boring ride. It's dark, nothing to see. You probably could use some sleep. It's been a big day. And I can drive on automatic pilot."

Daniel took his hand back from Jack's arm and suddenly yawned. He hunkered down in his seat and rested his head on the leather seat back. Jack was right; it had been a very full, very happy day. And fortunately it looked like it wasn't gong to end anytime soon.

" 'Kay, Jack, I'll just close my eyes for a minute. But you tell me if anything exciting happens, right?" 

Jack looked over at him. " 'Kay, Daniel. You have a good sleep."

Soon, as the lights of Colorado Springs faded behind them, Daniel was breathing slow and steady, and Jack could tell that he was asleep. The dashboard lights were reflected in his glasses. His long eyelashes lay on his cheeks. Even in the gloom Jack could see the shine of his long hair, the beautiful pale skin of his face relaxed in rest. 

Jack reached over and switched on the radio to his favorite classical station. He kept the volume down, knowing that Daniel would be able to sleep with the music on. 

For the first time all day, Jack believed that he really could do this. He really would be able to tell Daniel what his heart was bursting to overflowing with. It didn't matter anyway. Whether he felt like he could tell him or not, he still had to. Jack knew that he had to tell Daniel before another day was done. He would perish, dry up and blow away, if he didn't tell Daniel the truth. If there were any chance his feelings could be returned, Jack would never forgive himself if he didn't find out. And tonight was the night.

Part 6

Almost three hours later, Jack pulled into the outskirts of Casper, Wyoming. He'd stopped back in Cheyenne for gas, and had gotten himself a cup of coffee. He'd gotten one for Daniel too, in case he woke up, but he never did. Jack laughed to himself. Daniel sleeping through the smell of gas station coffee, inside the crew cab, showed the level of his fatigue. Jack ended up drinking both cups of coffee. He was sleepy too, but so keyed up he was glad to have to do the driving. He was glad that Daniel was getting some rest and not chattering. If Jack had had to keep up normal conversation, he probably would have died of frustration. As it was, he just pretended he was on a long flight to nowhereville. With the long practice of years in a cockpit, he did drive on autopilot, just like he'd told Daniel he would.

He pulled into the parking lot of a place called Ben's that was a favorite haunt of truckers. It was open 24/7 and served great breakfasts. He parked the truck, killed the ignition and lights, and turned to Daniel. He hated to wake him, but it was time. 

He shook Daniel's shoulder. "Hey! Daniel." he said quietly. "Wake up. We're here."

"Hmpff?" Daniel said to himself. Slowly his eyes opened. Jack could tell he was trying to remember where he was and what was going on. Daniel pushed himself upright in the seat and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh..." he groaned. "Stiff neck..."

Jack just waited a couple of minutes while Daniel woke up. It usually took a while. "You need coffee, big fella. C'mon, we'll go inside and get you fixed up."

As answer Daniel yawned. But he took his seat belt off and got his door open. Together they walked into the brightly lit restaurant. Daniel's brain cells were never too fond of morning. As he and Jack walked inside, he lifted the sleeve of his jacket and peered at his watch. 2AM. It was the middle of the night. 

The place was decorated with deer, elk and pronghorn antelope heads, bear skins, raccoon hides, and even had little stuffed prairie dogs on the shelves behind the bar. A huge stuffed cougar, victim of some long ago hunter, was right beside their booth on a shelf. Daniel leaned over to Jack as they walked to a booth and slid in.

"What's with the dead animals, Jack?" Jack could see Daniel's horrified eyes looking around. "Are they all gonna watch us eat?"

Jack snorted. "You're in the country now, city boy. This is what passes for interior decoration."

Daniel shrugged. He yawned again, managing to hide it behind his hand.

Their waitress appeared, coffee urn and two mugs in hand. "You guys want coffee?" she asked. She put down the mugs and started pouring without waiting for their answers.

"Sure," Jack laughed. "And keep it coming, will ya? And bring us out everything you got. Fried eggs, home fries, toast, sausage, bacon, just bring the works for both of us, okay? Oh! And some pancakes, too! Blueberry, if you've got 'em." He smiled at her. Daniel was yawning again.

"Sure, handsome. You got it," she laughed. As she walked away, Jack gave Daniel a poke in the arm.

"Wake up, will ya? For cryin' out loud, who just slept for four hours and who was driving?"

Daniel looked at him blearily. "Me. I slept. Wish I were still sleeping. Look, I'm gonna go to the men's room and wash up too. I'll be right back, 'kay?"

Jack grinned at him as Daniel got up and went to the back to find the restrooms. Left with his thoughts, Jack's sleepy mind grasped again how lucky he was. To have a friend and companion like Daniel was a great blessing. And now, on the verge perhaps of something even more wonderful, Jack almost had to pinch himself. He was getting that keyed up feeling again. A few more hours, and it'd be time for some honest sharing. And whatever the result, Jack knew that he wouldn't regret it. 

Part 7

After a massive breakfast, another trip to the men's room, and a final cup of coffee, Jack and Daniel hit the road again, leaving the lights of Casper behind quite quickly. 

"You ready to tell me where we're going yet?" Daniel asked finally. It was obvious they were in the middle of nowhere. The lights of the truck pierced the gloom ahead of them. Once in a while they passed an isolated house. Not a light to be seen anywhere. It was so late, there was virtually no other traffic. 

"Don't worry," Jack answered him. "You'll see soon enough. I have a place I want to show you, is all. When we get there, you'll see why. I've come up here off and on, to go fishing. I can't make it to Minnesota very often, but sometimes if I had a couple of days, I'd come up here, all by myself. There's just a neat place I want to show you. I want to share it with you."

"Okay, Jack. You drive the ship, and I'll just go along for the ride."

Nearly two hours later, Jack pulled into the parking lot of a Holiday Inn in a town called Riverton.

"We'll stay here," he told Daniel, not bothering to ask him if that was okay with him. "I've stayed here before, it's a pretty nice place. Wait here. I'll be right back."

Inside, Jack registered for the two of them, asking and getting a room with a king sized bed, in the back away from the road where it would be quieter. The Wind River ran along the highway, and Jack knew it would be visible from their second floor room, once it was daylight.

While Daniel waited in the truck, he looked the place over. Was this where he and Jack would finally really be together? He had always fantasized about their first time being in his bed at the loft. Not at Jack's for some reason. And certainly not in the middle of nowhere in some Holiday Inn. He laughed to himself a little. He wasn't going to worry about it. He should have been dead. So should have Jack. If they had to consummate their love in a Holiday Inn, well, it could be worse. Much, much worse.

Suddenly Jack was back, bringing in a blast of cool air with him.

"Ooo," Jack grumbled. "Cold out there! We're all set. Room 231, in the back."

"Two beds?" Daniel asked with feigned innocence. He fluttered his eyelashes at Jack, raising his eyebrows.

Jack just looked at him indulgently. "What do you think?" He actually was surprised as hell by the question, and also very pleased. Very.

"I think whatever we have will be fine. Just fine. Get us out of here, Jack. You told me you were going to talk to me. And I'm sick of waiting."

He and Jack looked at each other in the darkness. Yes, the time had come. Jack put out his hand and grasped Daniel's in a kind of friendship handshake.

"I'm so glad you're my friend, Daniel." Daniel was looking very serious. "So glad."

"Me too. But get us out of here, Jack. I mean it. Let's go." 

Jack slowly withdrew his hand. He placed it on Daniel's left cheek. He gazed into his eyes in the darkness for a moment. Then he turned, put on his seatbelt, started up the truck, and pulled out onto the highway.

Part 8

About five miles west on the highway, Jack found the turn off on the right hand side of the road. He turned onto a small dirt road and almost immediately the road started to climb. The big powerful four- wheel drive truck made short work of the incline and the loose rocks on the road. The headlights pierced the darkness, showing them pine trees and other scrubby bushes close to the road, sometimes brushing the sides of the truck as they made their way up the hill. 

The two men were silent. Daniel could not imagine where Jack was taking him, but he trusted him, as always. They had been to hell and back together more than once. A little woods and darkness seemed like nothing. Jack handled the truck like a pro, braking and then using the gas pedal to stay in control. 

Finally, after close to ten minutes of climbing, they came into a clearing that was like a big dirt parking lot. There were no buildings or signs visible. 

"We're here," Jack announced. He pulled the truck to the far end of the open area and killed the lights. He left the engine on for the heat.

"Here?" Daniel asked, peering into the darkness. He could see absolutely nothing. "Where is here?"

"At dawn, Daniel. When the sun comes up, you'll see where we are." He checked his watch. "Dawn is in about fifteen minutes. We're just a little early. But you'll see."

Jack shoved his left hand into the pocket of his denim coat, leaving his right hand on the seat between them, and then he hunkered down. "I'm just gonna close my eyes for a few, Daniel. When it starts to get light, give me a shake, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer, Jack put his head back and almost immediately started to snore softly. Daniel smiled at him. He knew Jack had to be exhausted. 

Daniel reached over beside him and ran his hand down Jack's forearm, finally putting his index finger on the back of Jack's hand. This was the hand that controlled his P90's trigger. This was the hand that could crash an enemy to the floor with its fist. This was the hand that had patted Daniel's shoulder many times, the one that had cupped his cheek, the one that had caressed his hair. Daniel knew that this hand and the other one, its mate, could love him. He had dreamed of it many times. Jack's lips, his hands, his eyes, all had haunted Daniel's dreams for months. Maybe years. 

He almost couldn't remember the time before he knew Jack. Didn't want to remember. He missed Sha'uri, but in his heart of hearts, somehow he knew she belonged to his own past. He had loved her. She had loved him. But when Apophis had kidnapped her, she was pulled out of Daniel's life. Whatever the future brought his way, he wanted Jack by his side. If the fates brought Sha'uri back to him, he and Jack would deal with it somehow. 

Meanwhile, he was lonely. He ached to be touched. He was sick of going to bed and then waking up alone, never knowing the wonder of someone of his own to love, to love him back. He had fallen in love with his best friend, who just happened to be a very straight, older Air Force Colonel who was forbidden to have a sexual relationship with anyone in his command, male or female. Those thoughts gave Daniel a bit of fear that what he hoped Jack was going to say was not what Jack was going to say. But he knew he had no choice, and in time Jack would tell him whatever he was going to tell him. At least then they both would know. 

Daniel ran his finger down Jack's hand in a little back and forth motion, feeling the soft skin there. Jack continued to snore. 

"Oh, Jack," Daniel whispered. "I love you. Please, love me back. I need you."

He dropped his hand and watched the view beyond the windshield. The clock said it was 5:15AM. Dawn had to be soon. Daniel knew they had to be way up on a hill somewhere. Finally, nearly fifteen minutes later, a faint light began to creep into the sky beyond the truck. They were obviously very high on some kind of cliff or overlook. Daniel waited another ten minutes to shake Jack.

Part 9

When Jack came awake, he could see dawn breaking. The sky was lit with a long horizontal pink line. The sky looked to be cloudless. Low on the northern horizon a thin sliver of a new moon shone, like a skinny, lopsided smile. There were stars visible now, slowly fading towards dawn's light.

Jack rubbed his eyes to get them open. This was perfect. Thank God it wasn't raining or cloudy. Jack hoped this was a good sign. He looked over at Daniel. Then he shut off the truck's engine. The sudden silence was complete.

"Let's stand outside, Daniel."

They opened their doors, squinting in the sudden light from the dome light in the truck. They slid out and slammed their doors and went around to the front of the truck, where they met.

"What is this place, Jack?" Daniel asked him quietly. Jack put his back against the grill of the truck and leaned back. He could feel the engine warmth seep through his jacket, warding off the morning chill a little.

"Come here," he said softly to Daniel. "Lean against me." He pulled Daniel around so his back was to him, and put his arms around his waist. Gently, he pulled him towards him until Daniel could rest his back against him. Daniel felt stiff, uncomfortable. "Is this okay with you?" Jack asked him in a low voice.

"Jack?" he heard Daniel say. But he made no move to get away.

Jack ignored the little question. He took a deep breath. The sun suddenly appeared in the eastern sky, a little sliver of bright golden light in the pink sky. Far below them, the Wind River ran in a lazy silver curve. The land was dark, still in shadow. But up on their hill, Daniel and Jack could already feel a tiny bit of warmth from the sun's early rays as it shone on their faces.

"Shhh," he said into Daniel's ear. "Just watch." And so they did. A few minutes went by while the sun climbed higher. Jack could sense Daniel relaxing into him. The view was spectacular.

"I used to come here with my Dad," Jack told him quietly. "This place is part of the Wind River Indian Reservation. Years ago, when I was about ten, my Dad and I were here fishing on the river. He took me up here for the first time. He told me this is where the Indians used to come, at the summer solstice, to greet their goddess of the dawn. This was a place of new beginnings for them. They believed that the day that the sun was the highest in the sky was the beginning of the year. And so they'd come up here to sing and dance and celebrate." He laughed a little.

"You know, I don't even know if any of that is true. When I was a kid, my Dad used to tell me lots of tales. He made them all sound like the God's honest truth. So I can't tell ya if it ever really happened. But I never forgot that story."

Daniel nodded, and then he let his head fall back on Jack's shoulder. "It's beautiful, Jack. And the story is beautiful too."

Jack took a big breath. It was now or never. And never wouldn't do. He spoke into Daniel's neck, placing the side of his face in Daniel's hair. "I hope that today will be a day of new beginnings for you and me. I brought you up here to tell you..." He paused. He swallowed. "... That I'm in love with you, Danny. I never meant for it to happen, but it has. When I thought you were dead, I lost it. I finally admitted to myself what you really mean to me. I knew I loved you. You were and are my best friend. The best friend I ever had, and ever will."

He dropped his arms from Daniel's waist and taking hold of his shoulders, he turned Daniel to face him. Daniel looked very serious. But he didn't look surprised. 

Jack reached up and put his hands on both sides of Daniel's neck. "Say something." He searched Daniel's blue eyes. The sun was behind Daniel, making his hair glow like a halo. Jack didn't think that Daniel had ever looked so beautiful. Daniel had a tiny smile on his mouth, and his eyes were full of what Jack hoped was love and longing.

"You're so beautiful, Daniel. I love everything about you. Your looks, your brains, the way you fight with me, the way you care, the way you always want to do the right thing. God, I've never met anyone like you. I don't think there IS anyone like you. You drive me crazy, you always have.

"Whatever you decide about us is okay. I don't want to pressure you into anything. But when I thought you were gone...God, it was awful. And now here you are again. I feel like I have another chance, and I don't want to blow it." He paused. "Say something. Please," he said again.

"Jack..." Daniel moved into Jack's arms, putting his hands on Jack's sides. He hung onto the fabric of Jack's coat and pulled Jack closer. "Jack..." 

Suddenly Jack found his arms full of Daniel Jackson. Daniel's mouth was on his, at first soft and inquisitive, biting gently on his lips, putting soft little kisses first on one side of Jack's mouth and then the other. Jack stood and let himself be kissed. He had his eyes closed, totally focusing on the sensations of Daniel touching him in this new way. Jack put his hands in Daniel's hair, something he had been dying to do. He gently pressed Daniel's face to his, opening his mouth to him, slipping his tongue inside Daniel's mouth to start its first exploration mission. First one then the other of them took turns with their tongues. Both of them made little whimpering sounds in their throats.

Finally Jack took his mouth away, feeling an immediate pang at the loss of their wonderful kisses. They pressed their foreheads together for a second. Then their arms went around each other again, and they shared a tight hug. 

"Oh, Danny," Jack said softly. "I do love you so. Whatever you decide about us is all right with me. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do about work. Shit, we can work it out somehow. I just can't go another day without you like this in my life. Life's too damn short. You and I both deserve some happiness." 

Jack put his hands on Daniel's shoulders and pushed him back a little again. "Daniel?" He longed to hear Daniel say he cared, even as he had been showing Jack.

"I love you too, Jack. You know I do now," Daniel murmured. He put a hand on Jack's cheek and caressed his jaw line. "Look at you, Jack. This is like something out of my dreams. A fantasy come to life. Thank God. I never thought in a million years you cared for me like this. I never let myself dream. The Air Force. And you're straight. I'm straight. At least I used to think so. All those nights in the tent together on missions, listening to you snore..." He smiled at Jack.

"I loved you then. I think I've been in love with you since the second a met you. Standing there in front of the cover stone, with Catherine and the others, and you carrying on about 'need to know'. God, you are so handsome. And so...I dunno...so goddamned in charge all the time. You have taken care of me from day one. I want you, Jack. Now and always. In any way you want me, I'm yours."

Jack laughed right out loud, in relief and happiness. "Sweet. So sweet. Can you kiss me some more?"

"Happy to," Daniel murmured into his mouth as Jack's lips swooped down on his again. Jack ran his hands down to Daniel's ass, and then he hauled him close to press their groins together. Daniel groaned deep in his throat. They could feel how interested both of them were by the way their rock hard erections made contact through their clothes. Jack knew then that Daniel wanted what he wanted. Everything. 

Jack pulled away at length. Both of them were breathing hard. He wanted to slow things down a little. He was desperate not to hurt Daniel, either emotionally or physically. It took all the self- control he had not to kneel down right in the dirt and rip open Daniel's jeans and take him right there. 

Instead, he backed away from Daniel a bit, leaning back on the truck again. He kept one hand on Daniel's arm, watching him, assessing Daniel's mood and trying to read him.

"What do you want, Danny? What do you want from us?" His voice was shaking. He was burning up. Jack was sure he'd never felt an intensity like this before.

"I want everything," Jack plunged ahead. "You know me. The old bull in the china shop. Hell, I don't even know what that means, to want everything with you. But if you want everything too, we can start finding out."

They were quiet for a couple of minutes, watching the sun climb higher. It was going to be a beautiful summer day. Daniel settled in beside Jack. He could feel their heat right through the sleeves of their coats. 

"Me, too," Daniel said to him finally. Jack put an arm around his shoulders. He placed a kiss on Jack's neck and lay his head down on his shoulder. "What do I want?" He nuzzled his nose against Jack's jaw line. "I want to make love to you. I want to suck on you. I want to fuck you. I want you to do it to me, too. I've fantasized about it." 

At Jack's intake of breath, he lifted his head to look him full in the face. Jack was surprised to hear the words, and Daniel could tell they mirrored Jack's own hopes. They searched each other's faces, blinking in the sudden rush of emotion and need. They knew they wanted each other, but everything was feeling pretty new and somehow fragile.

"I've never been with a man before. Have you?" Daniel asked in a small voice. He felt like he had to know.

Jack shook his head. "No, never. There were opportunities over the years, believe me. But no one ever was interesting enough to buck regulations. I married because I wanted kids. Hell, I loved Sara. She loved me. And Charlie was like a gift from God. I'll be carrying that boy around with me for the rest of my life."

"And I married because Sha'uri was a gift," Daniel told him. "She was beautiful and sensuous and giving. I hoped to have a child with her, but it just never happened. Well, actually it did. She had two miscarriages in the year we were together."

At Jack's surprised look, Daniel went on. "I know. I never told you. I never told anyone this before. Sha'uri...she cried. She apologized to me, Jack..." Daniel's voice broke a little, and he bit on his lower lip. "Like it was her fault. But it just wasn't meant to be, I guess. We cried together about the babies. I wanted to be a dad so badly, you understand that, don't you?"

Jack nodded. This new revelation deepened his determination to try to really love Daniel, to try to never give the poor man any more real pain. A life with Jack would mean that Daniel never would have those kids. Something else to deal with later.

"What if you get her back, Daniel?" Jack asked. This was his one worry. He felt way guilty and selfish about it, but truth be told, it worried him. Daniel went through that gate with SG-1 to find Sha'uri. What if they did?

Daniel rested his head back on Jack's shoulder. Jack was rubbing his cheek in Daniel's hair, putting little kisses on it, reveling in the feel of its softness against his lips. Daniel waited so long to answer, Jack wondered if he was going to. At last he spoke. He didn't want to hurt Jack, but he felt he owed him the truth.

"I still love her," Daniel said in a small voice. "I always will. She was my wife. She is my wife, until I know she really is gone. But, Jack...I love you just as much. It's hard to compare my feelings for the two of you, our relationships are so different." He pulled back his head to look into Jack's face.

"But I want to commit to you, Jack. I'm in love with you. And it's real. If Sha'uri comes back to me, somehow we'll deal with it. I will never hurt you on purpose. I can't imagine life without you. And I mean everywhere in my life. At work, at home, in bed. In our bed, Jack. Ours."

Jack lifted Daniel's chin with one finger, and lowered his head to kiss him again. Neither of them could know what the future would bring. But they would be together. It was enough. It was more than enough. 

Finally he pulled back and they looked at each other again. "I want us to make love, Daniel. I don't think I can wait much more. I need you so bad. We won't know what we're doing, but this is one fact- finding mission I am looking forward to. Are you ready to go with me now?"

"Yeah, I'm ready. But back in our room-- did you get one or two?" Daniel asked with a small smile.

"Only one. That's all we need now. That's all we'll ever need."

With a final hug, they climbed back into the truck. The sun had risen enough that its heat had warmed the inside of the cab. Without a word, Jack started it up, and they left the overlook behind. Like the Indians before them, Jack and Daniel would be celebrating their new beginning together. It was indeed the start of a brand new year.

~finis


End file.
